(Initially wrote this Sept of 2004 then forgot about it. Found it tonite as I was decluttering. My views have changed slightly since I wrote this. Thought I'd post it anyway as a look back to the way I used to feel about the subject)
What's a relationship worth to ya?
What do you mean by relationship is the first question that needs to be answered. Casual, Mr/Ms Right Now, buddies with benefits (emphasis on benefits), boyfriend/girlfriend, love of your life or 'The One". And if you pick 'The One', do you really think there is just 'one' that can do it all for you or fit the bill?
Personally I think it's all a load of crap. My premise...what when all is said and done, relationships aren't worth a dime.
Of course, there are exceptions to the rule. I realize that. My parents have been married for 50 years and they say they'd do it again in a heartbeat.
For the most part, with all the crap, the drama, heartache, hassles, does it equal or surpass the positive perks being in a relationship can bring?
Some examples of relationships I have observed :
Ms. X - First serious relationship. Says she's too young to move in with her boyfriend yet spends more weekends than not flying from FL to NY to be with him. Every conversation she has with you revolves around her boyfriend. He cheats on her. He lies to her. He has her fly in for the weekend then stands her up. She finally moves to NY and lives a block away from him. Is all she gives worth what she gets?
Mr. W - One failed relationship after another. They are all with the same person. He's a chronic yo-yo dater. Doesn't love her. Won't marry her. Doesn't want kids with her...but wants kids eventually. So she waits. He sees other options but stays frozen. He'sunfulfilled yet unable to move forward.
Mr. B - Desperate to be loved by the boobed beauties. Prefers the needy yet gorgeous type. Craves the tumultuous types who are connected to him at the hip. Is he settling? Who knows?
The married ones I know don't seem any happier. Wives are mostly mommies even if there are no kids.They order. They pontificate. They glare. They're mirthless martyrs behind the facade of the happy family unit. The husband? Stupid and defenseless and depends on the wife for their very survival...or so the wife wants you to believe.
And we do this...all of this...for what? Sex? Protection both financial and social? Bragging rights? Desperation? Fear of the unknown and being alone?
When it's all said and done, is it worth it? Does it make the giving worth the getting? The De Beers corporation along with every bridal or couple related industry will have you think yes.
I'm not sold...not at all.
Relationships are a scam and and sham. A way of them making you be all about them. Or at least that's what I think. Feel free to prove me wrong.