Hate Is A Pretty Strong Word

But I hate drugs. I do.

FUCKIN' HATE THEM.

Hate how they are addicting.

Hate how they prey on weak people.

Hate that they ruin lives, families, reputations, legacies.

Hate how they drain you.

Hate how they make you wish for the phone to ring to find out if your loved one is dead or alive.

Hate the devastating toll they take on your whole entire family.

Hate how they drain bank accounts and 401(k) accounts and retirement accounts.

Hate how they change your family member.

I hate them, hate them, hate them.

And when I get the eventual call that says the love of my life - my nephew - is dead, I will hate them even more.

((Reposted from Sunday November 26 2006)


What's It Worth To Ya?

(Initially wrote this Sept of 2004 then forgot about it. Found it tonite as I was decluttering. My views have changed slightly since I wrote this. Thought I'd post it anyway as a look back to the way I used to feel about the subject)

What's a relationship worth to ya?

What do you mean by relationship is the first question that needs to be answered. Casual, Mr/Ms Right Now, buddies with benefits (emphasis on benefits), boyfriend/girlfriend, love of your life or 'The One". And if you pick 'The One', do you really think there is just 'one' that can do it all for you or fit the bill?

Personally I think it's all a load of crap. My premise...what when all is said and done, relationships aren't worth a dime.

Of course, there are exceptions to the rule. I realize that. My parents have been married for 50 years and they say they'd do it again in a heartbeat.

For the most part, with all the crap, the drama, heartache, hassles, does it equal or surpass the positive perks being in a relationship can bring?

Some examples of relationships I have observed :

Ms. X - First serious relationship. Says she's too young to move in with her boyfriend yet spends more weekends than not flying from FL to NY to be with him. Every conversation she has with you revolves around her boyfriend. He cheats on her. He lies to her. He has her fly in for the weekend then stands her up. She finally moves to NY and lives a block away from him. Is all she gives worth what she gets?

Mr. W - One failed relationship after another. They are all with the same person. He's a chronic yo-yo dater. Doesn't love her. Won't marry her. Doesn't want kids with her...but wants kids eventually. So she waits. He sees other options but stays frozen. He'sunfulfilled yet unable to move forward.

Mr. B - Desperate to be loved by the boobed beauties. Prefers the needy yet gorgeous type. Craves the tumultuous types who are connected to him at the hip. Is he settling? Who knows?

The married ones I know don't seem any happier. Wives are mostly mommies even if there are no kids.They order. They pontificate. They glare. They're mirthless martyrs behind the facade of the happy family unit. The husband? Stupid and defenseless and depends on the wife for their very survival...or so the wife wants you to believe.

And we do this...all of this...for what? Sex? Protection both financial and social? Bragging rights? Desperation? Fear of the unknown and being alone?

When it's all said and done, is it worth it? Does it make the giving worth the getting? The De Beers corporation along with every bridal or couple related industry will have you think yes.

I'm not sold...not at all.

Relationships are a scam and and sham. A way of them making you be all about them. Or at least that's what I think. Feel free to prove me wrong.


Hate Is A Pretty Strong Word

But I hate drugs. I do.

FUCKIN' HATE THEM.

Hate how they are addicting.

Hate how they prey on weak people.

Hate that they ruin lives, families, reputations, legacies.

Hate how they drain you.

Hate how they make you wish for the phone to ring to find out if your loved one is dead or alive.

Hate the devastating toll they take on your whole entire family.

Hate how they drain bank accounts and 401(k) accounts and retirement accounts.

Hate how they change your family member.

I hate them, hate them, hate them.

And when I get the eventual call that says the love of my life - my nephew - is dead, I will hate them even more.


I Don't Get It

I just don't get it.

When people know they don't live up to their potential...they know they can do better...they know that what they did...or did not do...in the past prevented them from success.

And I don't get why they keep on doing what they do, when they know it won't work. Won't make them a better person. Won't make them a success. Won't make them happier. They know the outcome won't be good, yet they still do it.

I don't get it.

Not at all.


The Voicemail I Wish I Could Record...

I so want to leave the following voicemail on my incoming message at work :

‘Hi, my name, my #, my fax. (The basics, no problem there.)

I will get back to you as soon as I can...trust me, I know how to prioritize....but before I return your call, please note :

* My client that has been burned out of their apt or diagnosed with cancer is more important than talking to someone who has no idea of where they want to go, or when, or knows what is necessary to get there.

* Please slow down when leaving your message...use your full name...do you know how many Amy’s/Bill’s/Steve’s I work with? And altho I would LOVE to have the ability to read minds, I can’t, so leaving your phone # would be oh so special and would really help me reach you without having to resort to telepathy.

*Leaving me a message 3x in 30 minutes will not guarantee I will call you back 3x quicker...if anything, it will be the opposite.

* Yelling at me, cursing at me, screaming at me will not endear you to me...and definitely won’t hasten a return phone call.

* Scream at my staff and you are history...fair warning. They are like family to me...NO ONE screams at my family!

* I have 3 incoming lines and the only time I leave my desk is to pee...if I’m lucky. I am ALWAYS a)on one of my lines b) instant messaging someone c)sending/reading an email or  d)most of the time doing all 3..at the same time. So when you leave a msg don’t say ‘when you get back to your desk, when you are finished visiting, when you are finished taking a break’....trust me, you don’t wanna say that.

*Hey, I’m in sales...you may not realize it, but it is what it is. Given that, I have goals to meet...quotas to beat...I need to do 100+ calls a day. This is how I pay my bills. If you are one of my favorites or one of my non-favorites that have a pressing issue, you know I will devote 100% of my time and focus to you. If you’re just calling to whine about something I have no control over, please do it after hours when I am not here to answer my phone. Cause I have work to do.

*Finally, if you are one of my loyal ones, please know how much I appreciate, respect, treasure and truly love you guys (and your partners and your pets too!). You make my job bearable in more ways than you’ll ever know. Please...clone yourselves. And do it quickly, if you could!

Thanks for listening :-)