Each weekend, for the last month, I replay the weekend of our Family Reunion. I think about what I did do, what I didn't do and what I wished I'd done.
Friday August 18 -
What I did : Flew into John Wayne Airport and caught a shuttle to the hotel where most of my family my staying. Headed straight to the rooftop bar and joined my family.
What I wished I would have done : Joined Diane and Kelly on their late night Denny's run.
Saturday - August 19
What I did : slept in and took my time getting ready. Made it to the reunion with my brother Brian around 11:30-ish. Stayed at the reunion all day, took pix, had fun, ate yummy food, laughed, visited with relatives. Headed back to the hotel, hung out by the pool with family, went back to my room to charge my phone for an hour, rejoined my family at the rooftop bar, called it a night around midniite.
What I wished I would have done : Gotten up at the crack of dawn to help Diane and Kelly with the food and setting up our site. Had breakfast with them. Hung out with them. I wish I wish I wish I would have stayed at the bar with Diane, Terry & Nichole and Kelly and closed it down with them. I wish I would have taken pix of everyone with my camera - which I packed but never unpacked - instead of my crappy iPhone. I wish I woulda taken more pictures with my crappy iPhone...especially of Terry. This last part just kills me. I didn't take any pix. Thank goodness Kelly did. Thank goodness there's several pix of Terry's last night.
4 Saturday's ago, Terry was alive and laughing and we were all hanging out as a family. Tomorrow, which will be 4 Sunday's ago, he died.
Weekends just aren't the same anymore. And I still can't believe Terry's gone.
"If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you made me smile, I would have the whole night sky in the palm of my hand."
Author Unknown
See that handsome guy above? That's my nephew, Terry Carrigan.
I could write so very many words about Terry and tell you so many stories about Terry, but right now the words won't materialize.
For reasons known only to God, Terry passed away in his sleep the morning of Sunday August 20th, the day after our Family Reunion. Our world has been rocked and while we all know Terry wouldn't want us to be sad and mourn, it's impossible not to do just that.
The memory that stays with me (which I hope I never forget) is of Terry and his girlfriend of 9 years Nichole spending Saturday night with us at our hotel while we laughed and joked and enjoyed each other's company. My last words to Terry were "Good night honey...I love you...I'll see you at breakfast in the morning".
As happy as that night was, the sadness experienced the next morning was indescribable. Life without Terry doesn't seem like much of a life. But it's what we're left with and we really have no choice but to go on living.
Thanks to all of my friends and friends of our family who have called, written, prayed and thought good thoughts for me, for my family, for my Sister Diane, Terry's Mom, Terry's brothers Patrick & Casey, his Dad Patrick and especially for Terry's partner Nichole.
We're all in a world of hurt and I still can't believe Terry's gone. It's just too cruel of a concept that someone this wonderful could be taken from us.
Thanks Terry, for all your lovely smiles and the way you filled our lives and hearts with your love. We'll miss you for the rest of our lives.
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