A Likely Story!

What I've Learned This Week...

PEOPLE

When all is said and done, it's all about how we treat the people in our lives. How we show love. Respect. Trust. Faith. How we praise and motivate and care. How we inspire. Everyone wants and needs a little respect, trust, praise, faith and love in their lives. Are we doing all we can to deliver?

 

WEATHER 

Would falling snow be as enchanting and magical if we called it frozen rain? The power of words and the word choices we use. A topic for a future post, perhaps?

 

GIVING UP vs MOVING FORWARD

Giving up in order to move forward. I'm ok with that. Especially tonite.

 

That's what's on my mind tonite.

Ever Have One Of THOSE Days?

Like I had today?

In the space of 10 minutes I : Turned off my alarm in my sleep, woke in a panic cause I was running late, forgot to take my meds, forgot to pack my headset, left for the gym without my work clothes (had to come back for them), realized I never froze my lunch bag cooler so left without lunch  and discovered my brand new Kia displaying a Tire Pressure Warning. 

All before 5:15am.

But instead of rolling over and going back to sleep (believe me, it entered my mind) I worked out to no music, deleted weights from my workout routine  since I was running late (but still did an hour of cardio and 25 minutes of water aerobics), had the presence of mind to grab an apple & Justin's Nut Butter pack  and a  banana before I left my house so at least I had breakfast.

Super hectic day that turned into a  super hectic afternoon. At one point I had the thought "I am dying for a Coke" and refilled my water glass instead. (Coincidentally, it's been two weeks today since I've had a Coke). Took my lunch much later than planned and  boy did that Larabar I hid in my locker come in handy. 

So what did I learn from my day?

Two things. It's good to be prepared (having healthy goodies to grab and go) but it wouldn't hurt me to be more prepared. And get more sleep so I don't sleep thru my alarm. And those of you that really know me TOTALLY know where I'm headed!

STEP AWAY FROM THE INTERNET!

Need to spend some time winding down at night, prep my gym bag & work clothes, go to bed at a decent hour...like 10pm (no later).

Check, check, check.

Thing #2?

My new motto :

I saw this message about 3 weeks ago. It had the effect of a sucker punch as well as the proverbial lightbulb going on inside my head. And I'm really tired of excuses. While some of them are valid, I'm still tired of them.

I'm in control of my destiny and excuses will be my downfall if I'm not careful.

Long story short, I'm making smart lifestyle changes that I'll clue you in on one of these days.

In the meantime?

NNSD!

 

** nnsd = when we were kids my parents would read bedtime stories to all 5 of us. At the very end, right before they turned off the light, they'd say "Night Night Sweet Dreams". I loved that phase and voila, that's what nnsd stands for!

So...

Long story short, something's been wrong with me for awhile. I have extreme dizziness...don't know why...and it's getting worse. It's not vertigo. I've been tested. It's not anything having to do with ears or eyes...I've had those tests too. Anxiety was considered a cause but after visiting a Biofeedback Clinician and having her witness one of my 'episodes' she urged me 5 times in 3 minutes to get a brain MRI. Stat.

So.

Had one scheduled last week and even tho I've had several MRI's before (none were of the brain) and I thought I could handle it, to be blunt, I 'freaked the fuck out'. Severe claustrophobia. Hyperventilated. Couldn't stop crying. It was horrible.

I've started using a trek stick to help maintain my balance as I walk. It used to help but lately things are getting worse and tomorrow I'm looking at getting an actual cane. This is all so weird.

Having an Open MRI on Thursday which I hope I can manage. Anything has to be better than the closed MRI. I'm still having nightmares from that episode.

I miss walking unassisted. I miss being social. I base all social plans on how close I can park to where I'm going and how much walking is involved. I loathe walking into and out of work each day and do everything I can to stay away from the food court and the rest of the mall. (Wide open spaces are much worse than small spaces).

So that is what's going on in Kathyland. Thought you should know. Not for sympathy. Not for anything but keeping you in the loop. Life is short. Don't take your health for granted.

Over and out for now.

xo

3 Re Weekend

The last 8 months have seen lots of change in my life. 

Since last September, I've : Found a new place to live (closer to work), moved out of the room in the house I shared with my buddies Brian & Tim, fell and tore my meniscus the week before I moved, was on crutches the month prior to surgery, had surgery, had P/T post-surgery, had several personal issues mixed with the ice and cold that Winter brings and tossed in with a side of  my life as I know it.

I needed a break and decided to get away for a long weekend. A weekend just for me, only for me, where it was all about me. A getaway to Relax, Reflect, Restart. I wanted to retreat to a place that was quiet. With a comfy bed. With down comforters and pillows. With a huge soaking bathtub and lots and lots of hot water. I was craving warmth and comfort and peace and quiet and coziness.

So 2 months ago I added a vacation day to my normal Friday/Saturday day off schedule and this past Thursday I checked into to my private getaway before I left for the 14th edition of Ignite Boulder. Which was an awesome start to what I hoped would be an awesome weekend.

Initally, I'd hoped to make it an internet & cell-phone free weekend and my cell was actually off for most of Friday. However, as I turned it on late Friday night to see if I had a call from my Dad, I was surprised by quite a few texts/voice mails regarding something beyond my control but something that I wanted to be made aware of. It was all good and led me to realize that sometimes it's better to have everything in moderation rather than all or nothing.

My weekend's been AMAZING. I've slept more than I have in ages and the quality of sleep has been superb. This Winter has been particularly hard on me (mentally, physically, emotionally), so much so that all I crave lately is warmth in my surroundings. Toasty warmth with no shivering :-) This weekend there's been long stretches of time when I've been so content it's like I'm in heaven...it's that perfect!

Every now and then, you have to listen to yourself, really listen, and give yourself what your body and mind and soul need to be 100%.

Solitude combined with down comforters, spa-like surroundings, lots of hot water and knowing that I'd budgeted enough to pay cash for my weekend made for a wonderful long weekend.

In less than 12 hours I will have checked out and I'll be back to work and back to my life as I know it.

What I took away from this getaway is a renewed sense of what I need to be happy. A quiet space (animal free, kid free, roomate free, noise free, cold-free) every now and then is crucial to my happiness. And until the day comes when I no longer have to rent or share living spaces, I might need to stage a get-away every 6 months or so.

Granted, this might sound trivial and even petty to a lot of people, but it's what I need in order to be happy. Some people go shopping, some people take drugs, some people skydive naked. I like cozy, warmth, peace and quiet.

Sometimes the little things can make the biggest difference in your life.

It Was The Best Of Times...

...it was the worst of times.

A week ago today I was at work and took a call from my Dad only to find out that my beloved Auntie Irene, my Dad's sister, had passed away earlier that morning. It's tough when you get calls like that at any time of the day, but especially when you get bad news while at work.

I reacted as I'd expect anyone to react, crying, more crying, stepping away from my desk and crying some more. Auntie's death was unexpected. She'd had surgery several days earlier and breezed thru it, only to crash two days afterwards.

One more family member gone. One more family member transitioned to Heaven, to join the rest of our family. That's my belief about Heaven. When my Auntie Maggie passed away after a bout with lung cancer, she came to me in a lucid dream several months later. It was one of the MOST lifelike dreams of my life and she assured me that Heaven is a wonderful place and all our family members were there, happy and content. Then she told me who the next member of our family would be on their way to heaven soon...and don't you know, she was right.

For the rest of last Sunday as well as for the rest of the week, I was a little more introspective than usual. A little quieter as well. 

As much as I love CO and my life here in CO, certain times make me wish I lived much closer to my family. Sometimes all you really want to make everything better is to be with your Mom and Dad and Brothers and Sisters. My friends-like-family here in CO stepped in and were there for me in ways great and small. My buddy Jill came to stay the night with me. My darlingingst of darling friends HDW offered me whatever it took to make me feel better and my work team was amazing.

Took last Monday as a Bereavement in order to get my heart and thoughts in order. There'll be a memorial service in the future which I'd like to attend.

The rest of the week was a mix of good and great and sad and uplifting and challenging. You know, pretty much like the week you had and we all have every week.

When all was said and done, Faith got me thru the week. Faith as it pertains to my religious beliefs and what happens 'when it ends'...as well as Faith that God/The Universe/Karma will get me thru what I need to get thru.

Faith for trials and challenges both miniscule and gigantic...at least gigantic to me.

So if you're not having the best week/month/year, have Faith. And keep hanging on, cause things WILL get better. 

xo

 

 

Goals

Refresh your browser and check out my new spiffy design. You like?

My design's not the only thing that's spiffy. After staring at the boxes occupying my living space for the last 32 days, I finally felt I was healed enough to take them on.

So from 11am-11:45pm I cleaned, unpacked, lugged, sorted, vacuumed, laundry'd and in general was non-stop busy trying to get my place from Box City to a nicer Kathyland. Oh, I also cleaned my truck out in the process!

It was tough to accomplish without bending, kneeling, pivoting, lifting but I managed. I'm beat and I know I'll feel this in the morning, but the feeling of productivity - plus my place looks so much nicer - makes it all worthwhile.

I figure one more 12 hr Saturday should do the trick.  And before I forget, anyone need moving boxes with clean packing paper?

NNSD xo <3

 

 

Busier Than Busy

Need to wake up in 5 1/2 hrs, so I'll make this quick.

* I'm back to work

* Still in Physical Therapy

* Today is the first day since Oct 4 that I did not use my crutches in any way, shape or form!

* Still have a ways to go until I'm fully healed - 6 months +

* Envious of people that can walk without limping :-)

* Ignite Boulder tickets are almost sold out...don't wait to get yours!!

* Miss my former roomies but love my current living sitch

* Adore my landlady and her two kids - they are all darling and kind and sweet :-)

* Miss Daylight Savings Time

* Still not unpacked from my move due to limitations from surgery. And a small percent due to laziness. But mostly limitations from surgery. Moving my unpacking deadline to Dec 11.

* Realized today that I am happier with more sunlight in my life. Need to start taking advantage of daylight hours.

* I need to ditch the CFL lightbulbs in my room. I know that's not very EcoFriendly of me, but they hurt my eyes and make me feel like I live in a cave. And depress me and make me sad. Out they go!

* Spending time with friends that let you help them clean?? PRICELESS!!

And that's what's new in Kathyland!

NNSD for now :-) xo <3

Boo!

I'm updating! Scary, I know!

While some may call today Halloween, most everyone in my family calls it 'Two Days Before Kelly's Birthday".  Which it is! I'm sure the festivities started last night and will continue well into the next two weeks until our collective family takes a breath...then ramps up for Diane's birthday (Nov 27).

I'm still on leave from work :-(  It's weird, I'm sad, I miss everyone. I'm not used to being off work without being on vacation..and I'm definitely NOT on vacation so I guess I'm in limbo? Whatev.

Now that I'm feeling somewhat better post surgery (I can now sleep all thru the night HELL YEAH!!) I've tasked myself with unpacking. Still have lots moving boxes littering my living space and now that I'm more mobile the moving boxes must go. My space is limited so I'm getting extra creative in figuring out where to put everything..a far cry from what my buddy Andrew Hyde is experiencing!

Once everything's unpacked I'll take pix of what I no longer need/want and post them on my blog so keep an eye out if you're interested! My goal at being totally unpacked is Thanksgiving. 

I've also started a running To-Do list of things I've been meaning to do forever but haven't. Things like :

* Input all my paper scraps of addresses & info into Address Book

* Update / Revise my Contacts into said Address Book

* I owe Abby & Jeanine long-overdue update emails

* Sort thru two huge bankers boxes of pix in the hopes of scanning them someday (need a scanner first, tho!)

* Meet with a financial planner to strategize on the best allocations for my 401(k)'s

* Fine-tune budget

....you know...stuff like that!

Started Physical Therapy last Friday. A far cry from what I expected but so far so good. I'll be going 2x week for the next month and then they'll re-evaluate to see where I am. I've made it this far without having to break into the Vicodin (no, you can't have my leftovers, they're already spoken for!) and am hoping that trend continues. Not as much as painful as it's unstable...it's like my knee has a mind of it's own and isn't sure where it wants to go. Weird sensation, at least for me.

Finally, I'm thrilled that this is the FIRST Halloween I've experienced in CO that hasn't seen a snowfall by now. So. Happy.

Snow will be here soon enough (boo!) and I'm thankful to be enjoying the remaining snow-free days of Fall.

10 Loves 10 Hates 10 Surprises

Several summers ago my buddy  Tom  suggested I create a 200 Things About Kath post. I'd be hard pressed to come up with 100, much less 200 things, so in the interest of procrastinating, I came up with 10 Loves, 10 Hates and 10 Surprises (things you may not know about me).

 

Ta Da, here they are!

 

10  Loves

 

CO sunsets

Smell of freshly mowed grass

Happy, smiley, positive people

My family & friends who are like family

Receiving a hand-written note in the mail (Aree, Syd, Jillian - I'm talking to YOU)

When a gut feeling pays off

Ignite Boulder Organizing Peeps

When the weather report calls for snow but you wake up to a sunny day

Weiner Dogs....ok...ALL dogs!

My dream job that came true Dec 15 2007

10 Hates

Cigarette smoke

Whiney, negative, sarcastic people

That teleportation isn't a reality

Intolerance

When people give up on their goals and themselves

Improper use of the words their/they're/there & you're/your

Milk that isn't ice cold

ICE (not the kind in drinks, tho)

Cilantro

Squeaky brakes

10 Surprises

Tattoos freak me out so much that I can't look at them and will do whatever I can to avoid looking at them

I've never passed out/thrown up/had a hangover from drinking

Bit my nails until the day I turned 35 then stopped cold turkey

My Mom let me smoke a cigarette when I was 4 in the hopes I'd never smoke. It worked.

I would give up my life in exchange for a cure for Pancreatic Cancer

For the last 2 1/2 years I make the same wish every time I see a shooting star. No, I'm not telling you what I wish for.

The older I get, the more annoyed I become with negative Nellies. Grow a pair and get on with your life.

Every time I mail a letter or a card, I kiss the back of the envelope

Ahavachesed is my personal mantra

I grew up reading about a Christmas miracle where every Christmas at the stroke of midnight all animals can talk. For as long as I had a  dog, I never gave up hope the story would come true.

 Your turn!

 

Unpacking For The Next Month!

The household goods that I put into storage on 11/19/2009 arrived today.

 

OMG, the boxes!! Moving from a 3 bed 3 bath house into a walkout basement with a kitchenette will result in too many boxes, not enough storage. Trust me :-)

 

Some of my discoveries were a welcome surprise  (the iron doggie sculpture & my George Forman Grill) and some were "OMG, why did they pack that"? ie the recycling (thought I had emptied it - guess I didn't).

With tomorrow my last free day before my surgery, I know the unpacking process will take a bit longer than I'd like and I'll have to be fine with that. (Really I won't be fine with that - hello OCD??- but it's all relative). Thank goodness there's plenty of space in my landlord's storage room. I've made a dent in the kitchenette and whatever's not unpacked by tomorrow night will go into the storage area after I get off work Sunday night. Out of sight = less clutter = less crazy Kath. Eventually I'll get everything unpacked.

I knew having my stuff delivered right before surgery would drive me crazy in some respect, but having my couch, comfy chair, dining room table, my George Forman Grill...would make for a nicer, cozier, more conducive-to-having-friends-over (hint hint!!) recuperation.

Things are a little crowded right now, but once my landlord sells the lovely pool table that inhabits my space I'll be able to move the dining room table to where the pool table now sits, resulting in a less cluttered, more open space. (Know anyone that wants to buy a pool table?)

OK, break time over,  back to unpacking :-)