This post by Gabrielle Reece aka who I'd like to be in my next life, seems more appropos to a New Year's Eve post.
Be that as it may, it's 2:34 in the morning and I can't sleep so rather than wait until New Year's Eve, this is coming at you now.
A lot of what Gabby has to say rings a bell with me. For the most part, I've gotten good at identifying the inner workings of my mind and body and how they hold me back or propel me forward. Have I been 100% authentic in recognizing and dealing with those things or thoughts or beliefs that might be or are holding me back. Nope. I could say who has, but this is about me and not anyone else.
I've come to realize in the last year that I can take being authentic to a new level of what I call brutal honesty. Talking about being honest on the quality and quantity of what is happening in my life.
Honesty to me is HUGE and if it came to someone lying to me to spare my feelings or being 100% honest with me, I'd go for the honesty in a heartbeat. No matter how much it hurt. My fallback being of course that no one or no thing can come close to hurting me as much as my separation and divorce hurt me. Not that I am not vulnerable...I am very much so...but I would say my bounce-back-ability has a pretty quick turnaround time.
I guess my perceived fear is that I tend to see things as all or nothing. In several areas of my life I border on obsessive, ie. cleanliness, loyalty, follow up, being there for my friends. The areas I would like to improve in are personal fitness and work-related areas.
In the past there have been three times I can think of where I was 100% committed to a healthy exercise regimen.This last time was right before I bought my house in early 2004. Results were achieved, I was approaching 'ripped' status and the stronger I got the more obsessed and some would say meaner I got. All I cared about was working out 6 days a week. I used to stare at my biceps about 20 times a day, amazed at how strong they'd become. I had wanted results, I was getting results, and I wanted more. People at work were starting to not recognize me...in a good way!!
Who knows what would have happened if a rotator cuff issue hadn't sidelined me for 12 weeks. After that, I lost my edge, got lazy even tho I was in Rehab and once Rehab finished I wound up not seeing the inside of a gym for 2 years.
All or nothing.
Normally I make birthday resolutions as opposed to New Year's resolutions. Most of the time I achieve at least 75% or better. Last year's resolutions were pretty straightforward.
Buy a house. Paint/tile/trick out said house. Get to work from home. Force myself to get out and meet 30 people by the end of the year. Lose 30#.
A year and a week later, I'm proud to say I accomplished all of those goals. Yay me.
Am also thinking, ok, if you did that, how else can you challenge yourself this year.
Which brings me back full circle to Gabby's post.
I have done great in many areas. I need to do greater. Plain and simple.
And in order to move forward, I have to determine what is holding me back.
Any specific thoughts you might have for me on this one, feel free to share via comments or private email. Remember, your feedback can't hurt me. Neener, neener!
And what about you? What is holding you back? What does that voice deep down inside say as you try to stifle or ignore it?
It's time to let the voice speak up. At least for me the time is now. Maybe for you as well?
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