It's The Little Things...What I Want The World To Know About My Dad

See that guy up there?  That's my Dad. I call him Dad...used to call him Daddy. Everyone else calls him Ern...short for Ernie.

I am the oldest of 5. Got off to a shaky start at birth (neck broken, paralyzed on my left side) but eventually things got better. My Mom was freaked out by my injury and having to wear a full body cast. So my Dad fed me, took care of me and helped my Mom deal with a situation that neither of them expected or wanted. My Dad also lit votive candles and made a bargain with God that if I turned out ok, he'd be an exemplary Catholic for the rest of his days. Which he is to this day.

My Dad is so many things...devoted to my Mom and their 5 kids and 9 grandkids, one of the best friends you could ever hope for, always willing to help anyone and everyone, and in general one of the nicest guys you could ever hope to meet. Yeah, I'm biased, but really...he's a great guy! 

My Dad led by example. He never believed that Dads 'babysat' their kids. He was a hand's on Dad...diaper changing, feeding, cleaning, laundry...nothing was below him and he raised us all with the expectation that when we had kids (when, not if!) we would work together with our future mates to raise our family where there was no such thing as 'women's work'.  

My Dad didn't have a lot of rules, but the ones he did have we followed out of respect and 'maybe' just a little bit of healthy fear of avoiding punishment.  His rules were :

* Respect your parents, ESPECIALLY OUR MOM

* Be accountable for our actions

* Use our manners

* Act in such a way that our actions could be published on the front page of our hometown paper and not embarrass anyone

* Keep the 10 Commandments

* There are no 3rd warnings

 

That was pretty much it!

He taught us to think for ourselves even when it went against his beliefs. We had battle after battle when I decided I didn't want to go to church anymore. Same for when I wanted to buy a 'gasp' foreign car!!

We sat in the family room and went back and forth for close to 2 hours (with my brother Brian observing us - his head swerving back and forth as if  watching a tennis match) and ended with my Dad saying ' Oh to hell with it...you're paying for it anyway, it's your money so buy a damn foreign car if you want"!

So I did!  And two days later when I pulled up in front of the house with my shiny new Toyota Celica ST, my Dad came out to check out my purchase and said 'Let's go for a spin'. He was wordless as I drove him around our neighborhood. When we returned home he said 'Kathy, I'm proud of you! You stood up for yourself, you had all your facts lined up, you knew what you wanted and you went for it. Good for you!

My Dad has always been my champion, even when he didn't agree with my priorities. I wanted to go to college, he said I'd have to pay my own way, so I did just that. When I started observing Judaism and told he and my Mom 10 years after the fact, he supported me even tho he didn't agree with my choice of religion.

Which is why I broke down uncontrollably when he and my Mom sent me a 'Happy Hannukah' wood carving that December...their support just meant so much. 13 times I picked up the phone to call and thank them. 13 times I hung up cause I was crying so hard.

So many times he's had my back. So many times he's been the voice on the phone offering encouragement and telling me 'No matter what happens, you will ALWAYS land on your feet". And I have!

My Dad's given me so much and I doubt I'd be half the person I am today without his guidance and love. So this is my Father's Day gift to Ern. To let everyone in Internet Land know just how very special he is to me and to our family.

Love you Dad - always have, always will!

xo -

Kathy

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

[Nicole Nelson]

Kathy- Your words bring tears to my eyes. I am so happy that you have this relationship with your father. It is amazing to have people like this in our lives who love and appreciate us for who we are, no matter our decisions. I am so grateful you are my friend and I am so happy that you have chosen to share this story with us. Thank you!

[Bill Daley]

Wonderful essay. Your entire family is proud.

[hdw]

Honey, I loved this. I hope I get to meet Ern for myself one of these days!! And this post reminded me of one of my favorite quotes: "He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. " ~Clarence Budington Kelland